Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize