Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
