Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
