Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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