My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
