He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize