I think I am morally bankrupt
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
