You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you win again, gameday.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize