dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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