I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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