I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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