I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
