We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
