Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
