I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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