I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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