i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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