I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
