Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
