Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
