I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Randomize
