ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
