We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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