sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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