We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
