I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's never too late to be topless.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
dude. I can hear the air.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
