God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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