the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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