ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize