Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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