the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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