I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
