I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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