My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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