Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
