THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
