Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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