Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize