and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
