Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so let's talk penis.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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