sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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