Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
