I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
