i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
