I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
please come you make the beer taste better
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i now understand why vodka
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
