I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
