My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
