just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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