Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
