I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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