Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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