You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
