i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Randomize
