do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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